Snap

So, if you could go anywhere in the world for a two-week vacation, where would you go? I’m trying to figure out if the Army’s offer is as good as it sounds- a slot for a two-week R&R just opened up and I’ve decided to take it. We get two weeks of R&R for the year we’re deployed. Supposedly they’ll fly you anywhere. I’m going though that hypothetical list that often gets created at dinner parties and first dates. I’ve eliminated Europe. And North America. Too familiar. That leaves four inhabited continents from which to choose. Pros and cons to each. I’m trying to leave the decision to the last possible moment, which is a very un-military method. But I feel it’s appropriate, since I will be, in effect, taking a vacation from a war zone. We finally killed our office rat. He was getting over-confident, and nonchalant about our meetings in the break room. He shouldn’t have trusted in our familiarity- I was the one to call the pest control office and request the traps for my erstwhile friend. The wheels of betrayal were set in motion. He eluded capture for nearly a week, but this morning I noticed something both fuzzy and plastic dragging itself across the floor under my desk. Inventors may build new mousetraps, but they are not always better. He avoided a spine-cracking blow, but his haunches were pinched inside the plastic contraption. His eyes were pleading as he watched us argue over his fate. Apparently, the KBR contractors will set the traps, but are not actually responsible for the removal of the vermin. I last saw him as we sealed him in a small cardboard box with duct tape. So, I can’t actually vouch for his demise; I can only say that he’s now suffocating inside a dumpster. Or, he’ll figure out a way to chew his way to freedom, get a little snack among the refuse and return, well-fed and angry, to re-occupy the cabinet where we keep microwave popcorn and sugar substitute packets.